Last Chemotherapy cycle
Final chemotherapy on Good Friday.....
1pm on 30th March 2018. It was my final chemotherapy of 6 cycles and ironically was on Good Friday! I remember waking up that morning feeling elated but nervous all at the same time it was real myriad of emotions. I was elated that I had finally, finally got to the 6th cycle, there were so many times I just wanted to give up and say no more, I'm done but I did it, I continued, I turned up every cycle knowing how shit I was going to feel but also knowing that I was doing everything possible to stop any rogue cancer cells in their tracks, and to try and stop the cancer from recurring. I was also nervous. There were those chemotherapy cycle morning nerves that were all too familiar, knowing that in a few hours I would have that all consuming nausea, that want to just be sick to get rid of the nauseous feeling that would linger for around 10 days every damn cycle. Knowing that the rank taste would return in my mouth that couldn't be masked no matter what I did and made everything taste like pond water. And the steriods. They would give me that tingly bum feeling and make me extremely emotional and just made me crave anything that was salty and carb rich.
Gary had bought me a t-shirt for Christmas as a little inside joke about my hair loss which read “My bald head is cuter than your bad haircut” and I had decided not to wear it until that final chemotherapy infusion day - it was a way to mark the occasion and also to inject a little bit of humour into the day.
I still wasn't brave enough to go out in public without my wig so the photo above was just for mine and Gary's eyes only that day. My hair at this stage had just started to sprout new little hairs around cycle 5 and Gary still says to this day that my head felt like a suede effect when you felt it. Even in the chemotherapy infusion unit I didn't feel comfortable not wearing my wig despite many other patients sat there quite proudly with their balding heads.
For my last chemotherapy cycle I had asked Gary's mum and dad if they wanted to come along with me and they said yes. Gary's mum hadn't been to the chemotherapy infusion unit since that first pre-chemo walk round to get an idea of where I would keep visiting for my infusions to be carried out. I think every one of us felt emotional that day and for various reasons.
Both Gary and his parents had been absolute troopers during all my chemotherapy cycles and I will never be able to say thank you enough to any of them. The love, care and support that they all gave me was just amazing, they gave me the words of encouragement when I needed them, they listened on the days when I just said enough was enough, they made me meals, brought me snacks and most of all, they were just there with their love and support. A big thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of them - I love you all lots.
Because it was Good Friday and a UK Bank Holiday the chemotherapy infusion unit was quiet and I'd not seen it as empty before during my previous 6 cycles. As a way of saying thank you to all the nursing staff within the unit, I took them all a carrier bag full of goodies including chocolates, biscuits and mini cakes. They were gratefully received.
My pre-chemotherapy bloods were all good so I could go ahead with the 6th cycle. Anti-sickness tablet administered half an hour before the infusion started and then the IV steroid was injected and gave me the now all familiar temporary tingling bum feeling! I was dreading the Epirubicin chemotherapy making the now familiar burning sensation all the way up my arm but on this occasion it didn't seem too bad. Either the adrenalin was flowing with the excitement and relief of the last chemotherapy or I was just becoming used to it.
I'm not sure whether it's because Gary and his parents were there but this last chemotherapy seemed to go relatively quickly compared to previous cycles. Once the 2 chemotherapy drugs had been administered I had to wait another 30 minutes for the rest of the 1 litre bag of saline to be pushed through my veins. Saline is great but boy did it keep making me go to the toilet to wee and because of the colour of Epirubicin, for at least 48 hours after the infusions I would have bright red wee - it was quite disturbing at times!
There was a delay in me leaving the chemotherapy infusion unit as we were waiting for the usual cocktail of drugs to be be given to me to take home and use to try and help with the side effects of the chemotherapy drugs. For me none of them really seemed to help a great deal, I'm not sure if that is the case for everyone but it was the case with me.
I finally managed to leave the chemotherapy unit around 2 hours after arriving and I said to Gary that to mark the occasion I wanted to skip out of the unit down the corridor, no matter how tired the chemotherapy made me and that was exactly what I did. I skipped down the corridor and Gary filmed it as in the short clip below......!
In the car on the way home there was a sense of relief that my chemotherapy cycles were now over but I was also proud of myself that despite hating the toxicity that the drugs made me feel, I had still made sure that I turned up for every single chemotherapy cycle.
I don't often feel a sense of pride in myself, but that day I did and quite rightly so.
Gary had bought me a t-shirt for Christmas as a little inside joke about my hair loss which read “My bald head is cuter than your bad haircut” and I had decided not to wear it until that final chemotherapy infusion day - it was a way to mark the occasion and also to inject a little bit of humour into the day.
I still wasn't brave enough to go out in public without my wig so the photo above was just for mine and Gary's eyes only that day. My hair at this stage had just started to sprout new little hairs around cycle 5 and Gary still says to this day that my head felt like a suede effect when you felt it. Even in the chemotherapy infusion unit I didn't feel comfortable not wearing my wig despite many other patients sat there quite proudly with their balding heads.
For my last chemotherapy cycle I had asked Gary's mum and dad if they wanted to come along with me and they said yes. Gary's mum hadn't been to the chemotherapy infusion unit since that first pre-chemo walk round to get an idea of where I would keep visiting for my infusions to be carried out. I think every one of us felt emotional that day and for various reasons.
Both Gary and his parents had been absolute troopers during all my chemotherapy cycles and I will never be able to say thank you enough to any of them. The love, care and support that they all gave me was just amazing, they gave me the words of encouragement when I needed them, they listened on the days when I just said enough was enough, they made me meals, brought me snacks and most of all, they were just there with their love and support. A big thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of them - I love you all lots.
Because it was Good Friday and a UK Bank Holiday the chemotherapy infusion unit was quiet and I'd not seen it as empty before during my previous 6 cycles. As a way of saying thank you to all the nursing staff within the unit, I took them all a carrier bag full of goodies including chocolates, biscuits and mini cakes. They were gratefully received.
My pre-chemotherapy bloods were all good so I could go ahead with the 6th cycle. Anti-sickness tablet administered half an hour before the infusion started and then the IV steroid was injected and gave me the now all familiar temporary tingling bum feeling! I was dreading the Epirubicin chemotherapy making the now familiar burning sensation all the way up my arm but on this occasion it didn't seem too bad. Either the adrenalin was flowing with the excitement and relief of the last chemotherapy or I was just becoming used to it.
I'm not sure whether it's because Gary and his parents were there but this last chemotherapy seemed to go relatively quickly compared to previous cycles. Once the 2 chemotherapy drugs had been administered I had to wait another 30 minutes for the rest of the 1 litre bag of saline to be pushed through my veins. Saline is great but boy did it keep making me go to the toilet to wee and because of the colour of Epirubicin, for at least 48 hours after the infusions I would have bright red wee - it was quite disturbing at times!
There was a delay in me leaving the chemotherapy infusion unit as we were waiting for the usual cocktail of drugs to be be given to me to take home and use to try and help with the side effects of the chemotherapy drugs. For me none of them really seemed to help a great deal, I'm not sure if that is the case for everyone but it was the case with me.
I finally managed to leave the chemotherapy unit around 2 hours after arriving and I said to Gary that to mark the occasion I wanted to skip out of the unit down the corridor, no matter how tired the chemotherapy made me and that was exactly what I did. I skipped down the corridor and Gary filmed it as in the short clip below......!
In the car on the way home there was a sense of relief that my chemotherapy cycles were now over but I was also proud of myself that despite hating the toxicity that the drugs made me feel, I had still made sure that I turned up for every single chemotherapy cycle.
I don't often feel a sense of pride in myself, but that day I did and quite rightly so.
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